i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
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