There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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