i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
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