her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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