Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
