I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
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She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
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I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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