i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Randomize
