When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
