I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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