I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
