My balls are so social today.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
