In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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