remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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