Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
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