all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize