Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
