have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
