this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
You may now shotgun with the bride
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
