Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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