I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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