I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Randomize
