Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
