Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Randomize
