Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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