Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
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Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
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Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize