I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
