You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize