It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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