she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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