I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
