Come see our sink grown plant.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
