I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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