i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
