alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
