last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
