He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
