so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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