I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
how drunk are you?
Several
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
