What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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