I hope mine doesn't look like that
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
