he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
