I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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