Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
