Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
