we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
She's just so happy...and so naked.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
