community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
