so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
