Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Bring me that man meat
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Randomize
