oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
