would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
