I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize