i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
