K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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