LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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