She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
you win again, gameday.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
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