I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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