ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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