I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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