A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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