To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
MIDGETS
????
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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