help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
