just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
