I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
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